This weekend I ran into my brother while he was walking the baby and I was going for a drive so they hopped in and we went to buy gas. After my car was filled up and ready to go I gave my brother the money so he could pay the attendant and he asked me if I wanted my change back.
Yes please, was my automatic response. It wasn’t much, N150 and in the end she could only give me N50 back because, surprise surprise, she didn’t have enough change. As we drove off, my brother said he always gives them the change. And I said well I don’t because of a bad experience. And he said, but one bad experience shouldn’t forgo one from ever doing good again. He saw it as a small act of charity, each time he fuelled up, letting the attendants have the change.
He argued that one never knows how much those small acts could add to ones scale on the day of judgment and I couldn’t agree more. But my anger and my issue about change is a larger one. We live in a culture that belittles change. That EXPECTS you to hand over the change because it’s not a big deal it’s only N100 or only N50 or only N200. If it is ONLY such an amount then why is the person trying to take that amount from you through any means necessary including making you feel bad or guilty for wanting to hold on to it? If it is ONLY then give it back to me without thinking, or talking about it.
What upsets me is that you go to a supermarket and spend hundreds or thousands and they still keep your N10 and your N5 but if you’re the one who doesn’t have change – they may or may not let you walk away without paying extra. If you’ve read The Richest Man in Babylon or have listened to any advice about money then you know it’s the pennies that add up and become a dollar. It’s a N50 here and a N20 there that add up and make beggars rich. And it’s this attitude we have of arrogance about money that makes us feel guilty about holding on to what is rightfully ours that I take issue with.
When I give Sadaqah I want to feel like I thought about it consciously and gave it for the sake of Allah rather than feel like I was guilted into it. But perhaps that’s just me…
xoxo,
Nusrah
